Ms A

This was written when someone special came into my life (Aditi Saini)

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Ms. A (Part 1)

She came down the stair
I was stunned by her flair
I saw her but an instant
And in a flash, my heart had a tenant

My friends said she's a little plump
But then, didnt she make my heart jump
Everytime she goes, from being just a limp lump
How will my mind ever dump

The idea of letting her image erase;
Wasnt she the ace
When it comes to the race
Of breaking my heart with the smile on her face

Which is like an evergreen forest
Never shedding its beauty nor taking a rest
Looking at her, even the wave's crest
Doesnt seem to interest

The imprisoned mind
Which seem to wind
At the very thought that she is one of her kind
And congratulates itself for the find,

The greatest treasure
I have ever got, let me assure
Never has a girl been able to lure
Me nor able to capture

My eyes, now noting
Nothing
But the smile in her face
Though my age says

Look down boy
I cant even toy
With that idea, seems so gross
When it feels she deserves a rose

The beauty of her innocence
Seems to order all my sense
To look, hear, smell, taste, feel
The goddess sent to seal

My heart once and forever
To be the slave for her
My mind has got a fever
Knowing pretty well it cannot sever

The mental projection of her digital self
For anyone including myself.
I am puzzled
That one look lead

To this condition
Where her each and every action
Leads to the notion
That she's the best in the nation

Of one billion
Of which I havent seen even a million
No medicine can cure the heart which is aching
As a result of faking

An affinity towards one person
For whom I have become a mason
And built a mansion
Full of passion

The partition
In my heart
Has been the worst after Lord Curzon
Had to depart

The lonely heart will throb
For the thief who did rob
It and making it wander like a pendulum bob,
Looking and thinking about her being my only job,

Will be the last to make me sad
Though when I think of her dad
Who earns more in one month than the total money I have ever had
Makes me look bad

But when it is comes down to her heart
Which is purer than the greatest work of art
Which has made mine tear apart
Which I might one day dart.

I never dream about her when I sleep
But when awake, she is like a businessman's cellphone beep
Always ringing near the heart and giving happiness to my soul
Without which it will be just a theoritical hole

Right now, i am not sure about my role
Am I a lover looking to cajole
Am I a friend accompanying her to a bowl
Am I a day dreaming owl

I realise this is not a physical attraction
For I never looked even for a fraction
Of a second apart from her face
Which itself leaves me in a daze

Her figure is just a haze
But her smile is a blaze
When I see the twinkle in her eyes
Even my hunger flies

When she comes near
My eyes are rivetted on her ear
Upon which flows a black river called hair
In contrast to her complexion, which is fair

There is a tear in my heart
Whenever she smiles and her lips part
A bit, to reveal
Her teeth, glistening like polished steel

I become a freak
When I see her cheek
My heart is in clutches
Seeing it turn red when she blushes

I am one of the many boys
Mesmerised by her voice
Which is sweet and divine
It modulates as smoothly as a wave of sine.

Every single minute she flashes past
My mind, which I thought was steadfast
In going according to my policies
Which have now dissipated like currencies

She was lovely today
And then the next day
I think she was better than yesterday
And this goes on everyday

If a day passes by
Without seeing her, my heart starts to cry
My eyes go dry
In my mind I fry

I ask myself, what does all this mean
What have I seen
That has made me no longer my dean
Why am I so keen

About someone I dont even know well
Why in my heart, her image should dwell
Containing her protrait, which I cant even sell
'Cos my heart is trapped in a cell.

Now, my mind is like hell
What happened to its alarm bell
To her, have I fell
I think only time can tell.

She is beauty at its best
And whats gonna be my biggest test
Is to be aware that its my duty
To see our friendly relationship is never faulty

Till the time I know where I stand
Will I take her hand
Or will she become grains of sand
Its too early to understand.

This poem has been the hardest to end
As my mind has a lot more inputs to send
But my fingers will bend
If I dont suspend

This work of translating
Each and every feeling
In my heart without deleting
Omiting or editing anything.

Random Access
The search has just begun !!! (To find out what the heck is wrong with me)

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Ms. A (Part 2)

I thought it was you
To whom the poem was due
But I dint have the courage
To admit to myself I had come of age

And I thot u were one of those
Girls who I feel nice talking to
But it took another girl to make me realise my pose
That actually I have feelings too

For you, my dear,
Whose smooth soft ear
Cant receive what I want you to hear
What I feel deep inside of me, crystal clear

That makes me so happy
That makes my heart leap in a frenzy,
Into a kind of trance
Like going on a tour de France

'Cos I know you are attached
That hasn't tatched
My feelings, though I wanted to supress them,
My heart is refusing what my brain is trying to stem.

I thot it was nice seeing you
Then I thot it was nice, the talking we do
Then I thot it was nice thinking about you too
Now, I think that you didnt have your due

Share of each and every feeling
'Cos I dont know if I have been reeling
In the deepest corner of your heart
In just a pulse out of the 72 a min that depart

And just the thought that I do, makes mine ache
With the burden of the secret which I hereby break
I am guilty of dreaming about you
Without wating for you to issue

Your permission
But the satisfaction
That is so gained is priceless
Which I will have for nights, countless.

I thank Brahma to have blessed
Me with the opportunity to see you,
And making me realise the meaning of the word obsessed
For which, it seems, I flew

Away from my homeland;
Will I get to garland
My princess of delight
Or will I end my life with the plight

That you didnt give the green signal
That I was just a residue from a funnel
That it was all just a fantasy
That made me go into a lifetime of ecstasy

I am wondering
That while you are dreaming
Is it me that you are seeing
I donno if its just my feeling

I have but a very thin ray of hope
That you will elope
With me leaving the other guy hanging by the rope
But that thought tends to soap

My mind, and keeps my heart together
Which, on your rejection, will tether
So, when you do finish this poem, if you think this guy needs a thrash
Dont tell me outright cos in a flash

You might be seeing a heart break
On which you might freak
So, even though you might feel I am a bloody moron
I think you can forgive me, being as soft as boron

I know its absolute craziness in the first place
But even though I know mostly it will end in disgrace
I am glad that I have atlast let out sincerely what I feel
Its upto you now to deal

This in your mind and reveal
Your feelings as I did, and seal
This matter but dont try to avoid me
But continue to be ,as ever, free

With me, sorry if I have upset you
But I think it was due
To this being my first crush,
I thought the only way to flush

My thots was to tell you truly what I felt
Hoping that the intenseness of it will melt
In due course
Standing the minutest of chances that you will endorse

My feelings, but since I think you too should have had your share of crushes
I hope you will forgive me for expressing my weirdest of wishes
Which was sweeter than the sweetest of dishes
Which was more agile than a shoal of fishes

In my mind, from the time I saw you first
My heart's boundaries burst
As you occupied every single cell
Which you wont vacate till I go to hell

Even though you may ease my heart's pressure
By giving yes or no as the answer
All the memories of you has been a treasure
Too huge to measure

And will linger on for ever
Whatever endeavour
I take to sever
It, I think it will end up as a savour

I wonder if anyone will ever replace
In my heart, your current place
But even if they do, you will always be the cream
Of my teenage dream

I realise I have to stop somewhere
Before my ligaments tear
But to be fair
I think my heart is beyond repair

Whatever happens, I would like to say 'Thank you'
'Cos you have made me feel what few
People get to feel in their lives
Towards someone apart from their wives

You have made me write two poems like these
And none had been harder to cease
I will try my best to stop thinking about you
But when I will be able to, I dont have a clue.

Random Access
The search has just begun !!! (to find a good eraser)

Oct 2001